Movie Review: X-Men 3 - The Final Stand

Genre: Bombastic adventure with superheroes in spandex.

In general: This movie sees the return of many familiar characters from the X-Men comics as well as the addition of quite a few new ones. Since Bryan Singer decided on directing Superman Returns, the director's chair this time went to Brett Ratner of Rush Hour fame.

Very brief synopsis: When the discovery of a "cure" for mutants is announced, Magneto decides enough is enough and decides to get rid of the obtrusive thing. Meanwhile, while the X-Men are rallying their forces, Xavier becomes aware of that Jean Grey might not be as dead as they thought. 

What's good: Well, some of the actors make good performances here, notably Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen and Hugh Jackman. The special effects are good, and the direction is adequate for most parts.

What's bad: The script. No, let me rephrase that: The godforsaken, dreary, cliché-laden and outright irrational SCRIPT! A crippled chimpanzee on acid could produce a more coherent screenplay. Here's why:

First of all, the climax. It's impossible to describe why it's a fiasco without including numerous spoilers, but it's safe to say that it defies logic.

Also, the chain of events is nothing short of hilarious, and the level of irrationality is just baffling. Magneto shows the leadership capabilities of a three-year old; Storm seems to be quite unaware of her ability to control the weather and Ice man suddenly turns into a selfish bastard. To top it all, many events (especially the final battle) is completely void of any concepts such as "common sense"; they're just there for the sake of showing off the nifty special effects.

But the main disaster is the dialogue. You can (or at least so it seemed to me) actually see how the actors squirm and wince as they are forced to deliver lines so bad they make the loudspeakers bleed. It's a testimonial to the skill of many actors that they make the lines come across sounding much less dopey than they actually are.

Unfortunately, the dialogue makes the entire movie suffer; the acting is stiffened and all suspense goes out the window. In essence, the film stutters as a broken bicycle on a railway.

Trivia: After the making of the movie, the production crew teamed up with the actors and beat up the script authors. Ok, so they didn't, but they should have.

Grade: A weak 2 out of 5. Three years of wait for naught.

/ Rufus


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